Ambitious Avoidance
It All Begins Here
Welcome to my blog space!!
Truthfully, this blog has been on the to-do list for a while. As the great Mariah says each November 1st, ITSSSSS TIMMMEEE!!
Ok, I’m no Mariah Carey, but like her, I have a voice, and it’s finally time for me to share. Today I wrote a rather long FB repost, which is the birth of this blog entry. The post discussed a news anchor’s decision to seek intensive mental health treatment after a series of events. In many ways, she concluded that taking care of herself is the key to her remaining healthy.
High-performing trauma survivors endure a lot of suffering. Period.
Let’s break this down a bit.
What defines a high performer? Ambition.
What facilitates enduring suffering? Avoidance.
What defines a trauma survivor? Resilience. Grit. Adaptation.
Let’s go further…
Those with a history of complex trauma who pushed through adversity to become their version of successful often avoid the depths of who they are. Underneath the ambition are negative narratives and deeply rooted belief systems that usually start with “un”: unworthy, unlovable, unseen, undervalued. Sometimes the ambition to succeed becomes the avoidance.
Isn’t it easier to avoid the thoughts, feelings, poor decisions, and complicated relationship patterns? Of course it is… until it’s not. This goes deep. It’s layered. And honestly, it can be difficult to go there alone. Here’s how you can start the healing process… imho. Start moving. Go for a walk. Take a class (art, yoga, Pilates). Swim. Create space for yourself. You need spaces where you can check out in order to check in.
And of course, start your therapy journey.
Talk soon.
Nicole